What Not To Wear

Did you ever watch the show "What Not to Wear"? Take two fashion savvy mavens (the British version features two girlfriends, while its American counterpart has a guy and a girl) and one fashion-challenged victim, and you have the makings of a hit show. This show is so popular that even Oprah has those two Brits on from time to time, giving the most up-to-date information on the best jeans for your body (no pleats!!!!) and exactly what kind of shoe/sandal/boot to wear with said jeans. According to the fashions mavens (both British and American) whatever you do, don't try to cover your figure flaw with big, boxy clothes. This I really have to agree with. Big, boxy clothes will only make you look bigger, not smaller and will totally obliterate whatever figure you have. Whether you are an extra small or a 3X, you do have a figure and the bigger the clothes, the bigger you look. According to these wizards, try to find clothes that while not exactly form fitting, should be fitted in areas that accentuate your waist, not hide it under layers of shapeless clothing. The show often finds the subject of the day hunting down clothes in various stores, given all the details from meetings with the gurus. Of course, their closets have been purged of all their favorite, comfy clothes (like that ankle-length denim jumper and snowman sweatsuit). They are asked to ditch their well-worn walking shoes for strappy, high-heeled sandals. Dowdy skirts are replaced with flirty ones and over-sized t-shirts are replaced with cute form-fitting ones with no logos of 80's heavy metal bands or pictures of teddy bears. Subjects are then polished off with a new hairstyle, complete with highlights and fresh make-up application. Of course, everyone looks just spiffy, but one has to wonder just how these people will be able to keep up the look after they are sent back into their respective worlds. Will these folks remember to take their list of "dos" and "don'ts" with them on every shopping excursion? Will they remember to get their haircut and highlights updated on a regular basis? Will they remember to choose a sexy sandal over a comfortable pair of Birkenstocks? Somehow, I just don't think so!